wow..as much as I hate to think i cant see a entry like this .lol.  ever again, but hopefully in real life one day w. husband ..

hey you ...

 I wanted to send you off an  email to say I wish you the best of luck & most happiness you deserve .

 I have to downsize today , as its nothing 'personal ' against anyone, i do have allot of personal things going on, and  there are only a few that do know me personally, & i need to vent on here or Im going to go nuts.

 Glad we were able to give each other a smile w. entries while they were here.. I hope your days w. her till the end are everlasting like the video you took  mentioned in this entry.

So please take care  & thnx for your friendship thru mdd and thank you for  allowing me to know your 'world' while we were in contact here. God Bless.

~christine

Hey man.

lol ok. Um well you seem quite a bit older than I am. i have no idea how old you are so i'm not quite sure if it normal for you to masturbate that much. But I masturbate about twice a day, maybe more on a good day. and I have guy friends that also do it about that often. I don't understand why it wouldn't be normal for you to. I mean, its good for you so how can it not be normal.

Hope this helps a little.

If its wrong by all means take it up with my Japanese teacher... Lol.

To be honest Im not sure myself but I made sure I took correct notes and considering shes lived and worked over there Im taking a chance and believeing her...

Yes we do. Older men happen to be the most fun.

And your not the only one bud....exhaustion is the ONLY word in my vocabulary this week. Lol.

good boy..ruff ruff..lol.

  ahhhh.. the 'honey due list '.. hmm, he is so lucky I dont give him one of those.. mine.. well he has it made.lol. but although.. the upstairs washer button has been broke  for a yr lol. thnx god for the downstairs washer too.lol.

 nighty nite!

btw.. you know this is christine right . i dont write in the dissapointedwife one at all anymore.

[fromthisdayfwd]

Whoo hooOOO!!!! WOW, It felt like I was peeping in the door at you two.

I like....

I like....

Now THAT was a HELL OF A MORNING!!!

umm,. ya need an update id  say .. have a great wknd.

[fromthisdayfwd]

 hi. you missed it, but i did mention the parents were asleep , but then got up.

 still all day they didnt make  contact with us.    the nerve. .

he  doesnt even want the kid on the property to 'apologize '.I cant blame him, after what he (the 18 yr old )did .

 the officer called this evening @11:15pm..  said to me, after I questioned of a 'police report ..even thought I DIDNT chrg against him'..

officer said.' but you said you werent pressing  charges against him "

I said.." so  there was no forms documented -6 cars were called in, and look at all of you that went to him home , hoping the fence..something HAD to be documented.?".

I handed michael the phone.I DIDNT want to deal w. a man ( cop) trying to take advantage of me..just because he is the dads (of the kid) friend.

so..  more where that came from..maybe an entry for tomrorow.

went to fair tonight .fun.Im sooo tired though.with no sleep last night .

 hope your doing  well.

~me

[dissapointedwife]

Lol. Who needs a show when you got all this! :p (this is like the third time ive read your entry and i feel bad now....lol oh well)

Anywho, thanks for the encouraging words! I hope everything is good for you.

No, I'm a female and I like soft porn and hard porn (as long as it has a storyline, lol)

As far as u masterbating 3 times a day.  I've heard of guys doing that. Its normal.

Alot of females want to play that dainty role like they don't look at that stuff.  Well if they don't, they probably look at it in their heads.....imagining things.

Can't tell me that they don't.

xoxoxoxo

Ok so heres the thing, PORN IS OK TO A CERTAIN EXTENT. Like my boyfriend watches porn when we don't have sex and he needs to release. Sometimes we do use it when we have sex but thats when we are having a quickie. You are not weird and when it comes to masterbation...everyone when they have a climax we release something called an endorphine from our brain that relaxes us. So masterbating can be used as a relaxing tool. Also I consider masterbating as safe sex. Not worrying about no deseases and will she/he call me the next day if you get my drift! YOU ARE NOT WEIRD!!!!!! It's just that some women are a little narrow minded but believe me most of these women have a secret of their own...*wink wink* Haha and all this coming from a woman....

~Sweet Heiress~

Thats nice.

 (I guess HBO is good for more than just watching movies. Lol.)

Hey-

Thanks for the comment.  You know, I will put a pic up here real soon and I'll let you know when.

I know he has issues that are deeply rooted going back with a crack addicted mother who he could never get to love him in the right way. But my brain still goes to self degredation.

IDK why.

P.S.

I loooooove the details you put into this entry.  This is what I do also when I have an experience to tell.  Very, very nice entry.  And I'm glad you had a beautiful night.

xoxoxoxo

I read your entry and I really do know what your going through. I have been there. Read this below. I hope this gives you alittle encouragement.. I know it can be lonely but open up to her tell her how u feel. You deserve to be treated with Love and respect too. I wish u the best..

“If I Haven’t Told You”



It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return maybe God wanted you to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Love is when you take away the feeling and romance in relationship and find out you still care for that person. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means alot to you, only to find out in the end that is was never meant to be and you just have to let go. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is never assurance that they’ll love you back! Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn’t be content it grew in yours. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on the forgotten past, You can’t go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling live your life so that when you die, you..re the one smiling and everyone around you is crying. Don..t be afraid to take risks do whatever it takes to make your dreams come true. Always believe in you because I DO!!!!


Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss? This is because the most beautiful thing in the world is unseen. We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fallin' mutual weirdness and call it love. There are things that we never want to let go of people we never want to leave behind but keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world it’s the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched their lives. A great love, it’s when you shed tears and still



you care for him, it’s when he ignores you and still long for him, it’s when he begins to love another and yet you still smile and say I’m happy for you. If love fails, set yourself free. Let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it. The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall. Somehow along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize there should never be regrets only lifelong appreciation of the things you’ve made. Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go but how you hold on. I want to be there when you finally realize your potential in life, your purpose; follow your dreams and I’ll be there when you awakes.
It’s more dangerous to weep inwardly rather then outwardly. Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever.

If only... the rain didn't fall,
the sun would sleep a little longer,
the nights were warmer,
I said what I felt,
I didn't say what I did.
If only I could show you.

If only... the stars stayed in the sky,
the tides didn't change,
summer could last forever,
I could turn back time,
things were different,
I acted differently.
If only I were me instead of someone else.

If only... the sky weren't blue,
you were here,
things had changed,
I hadn't changed.
If only I wasn't afraid.
If only these things would happen,
Would you still be here with me?
If only you knew I still needed you.
If only you needed me just as much.
If Only... If Only...

If only I didn't love you!

hi.. well, you know my diary .. i did love that other halfs conversation. yes we flirted, but no ciber, phone sex..

 they say it is cheating when you have  ciber  /and or/ phone, because your mind is getting involved w. their body parts..etc..

 so I know I never di . he wanted to show me himself on cam, and I said naa, we'll wait if its meant to be...

its hard when your horney 7 the other doesnt want it at all( like mine ), or just not ebnough .

i wish too there were just buttonms we can program ' do this '.haha.maybe 2025..lol.but I doubt if Ill be w. him stil. :p

gtg. have a great happy safe weknd.

[dissapointedwife]

 being a good wife is one thing..ive done all those things for yrs..

 what i might have found on the side is another..NOT part of Gods will.  I think I will take nics advice & place a hamper on side of bed, and say 'yur mess, you clean it. It doe shurt that he cant touch me, but in front of me pleasures himself, when his wife has cried for love.. I shudnt have to beg..I think todays entry helped me make a final, I MEAN final decision.I mean FINALE . to move on.It does add up to the man doesnt love me.. and when the marriage is over..I can  have some one maye that will love me, and I dont have to feel guilty..and will just remember how good it finally feels to be in warm loving arms again.!

`me

[dissapointedwife]

In regards to ..**And we both like that its not just about sex either..its the smiles we dont even get at home that we can give to each other when we connect.**

Answer to yur question..No, not yet.

Wow, well I would have given you a hot oil massage, cologne, and your favorite Liquor. I would have baked a cake that said Happy Valentines Day on it and fed it to you with a side of icecream.  We would have partied until the break of dawn.

Too bad I didn't do this for MY husband.

But, in all seriousness I think that she could have done way more.  I'm sure you deserve it.

xoxoxoxo

Awwww. Yea, its nice that she remembered the e-card but I can definatley understand wanting an actual card. Some effort with that thought would have been nice.

[xprincessxrenax]

time for an entry , dont ya think  :)

-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E...keep it going....this is COOL!!!!

[dissapointedwife]

Your comments always mean so much.  I hope everythings good with you.  And I am hard up for sex too, Whats the deal with all of us?

I know I'm late but....

[SecretConfessions]

Cheers! but no ones really answering my question! lol. All i want to know, is will they be able to tell, and if so, what will they say when my Mother calls up.

But thanks anyway,

:)

xxx

Ha. Everyone is crazy busy right now... but it doesnt sound like its a really bad thing for you so thats good. && Im glad your happy with your other situation cause i know that used to bum you out alot.

Natalie <3

hey you .. hows life .. hows work & home treating you . update ??. :)

[dissapointedwife]

Thanks for the comment i have dumped him now!

Thanks for the love.  I need it now more than ever.  So you see my passion?  Maybe your the only one who does.  Somehow I'm so grateful to you just for seeing that. 

As far as posting pictures, man, that would take alot for me.  I'm overly critical of myself.  But I will definitly think about it.

P.S.  I'm not sure whats going on with your wife.  I guess I'll pull up a chair, add you to my favorites, and stay tuned.

Much Love.

[SecretConfessions]

ya know he says that about me .. change my moods once & then again.. and thats why he doesnt want sex,, the ways I am a b*tch 1 moment, and the nice the other to him. What he doesnt get ,, is Im dealing with lack of intamacy , touching, just holding, passion, communication for 5 yrs.

So what was his freekin problem  b4 marriage , with  no urge to do anything to me , still to date ..  that crap shud come natural. , and Im not buying the whole 'christian belief 'thing anymore. Its a crock..

SO yes, I may be having a good day , cuz he actually smiled at me , then when he is just a jerk other monents, no  appreciation, complimewnt, just nothing.yea I get pissed. but I know I have a right to w. him..

 anyways ..  hope your doing ok.

`me

ps.. did you ever ask her to go see a dr.Im not tryin to be funny.. or maybe  a marriage councelor. It doesnt have to be at that 'moment , right b4 divoce ; to seek one.. But your feeling sare hurt and maybe her just talking , by herself , or with you in room(what ever  she chooses ).. Maybe there is something there, that you really dont know about .. ITs worth asking..And if she freeks out , on 'how dare you ask that ?". about a dr maybe .. Like I say to him,, ' if your husband/wife  cant ask, then who can ..we are the only ones who know there are problems in certain departments. JUST ASK HER my friend  .!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

good luck..

`me

[dissapointedwife]

Lmao. Im sorry! I know...im guilty of sending mixed signals before but i try not to....maybe she just has a change of heart really quick or she like me and shes just weird and moody. I do that flippy- thing all the time but believe it or not i cant really control it. Its just how i feel at the moment. Sometimes if i think im gonna get all bitchy ill just try and drop it or forget it so that way i dont end up fighting and then coming back like nothing happened when it did.

Nah...Shes not Bi Polar. Shes just a woman.

i dont belive its the marriage life , and sex needs to be 'lacked '..I believe maybe something..something is missing.  Did you ever try to think of a fantasy w. her like I asked many entries ago.

Im sorry to bring Mike up in this.. but  I never needed a toy or anything  w. him. Yes we cudnt get enough of each other..  Gosh, we keopt each other bust for  long periods of time...No , we had no kids. but I do belive when there is SOLID communication.. Its alllll there..

 find out whats deep inside (feelings-fantasies)her.. and get it goin..lol

[dissapointedwife]

 Awww, i wish you hadnt said that. It makes me feel like your unhappy and there is nothing i can do. (Cause there isnt...*sigh*)

I know, but sometimes i get tired of people thinking "Shes so smart, why is she HERE?" NO ONE will believe im a freshman. Ive never felt very smart and i bet that there are a zillion people who are smarter than me in my school. I know my personality has alot to do with it but i simply cant bring myself to act stupid. Its not in me and i doubt it ever will be. I dont know why im the way i am but i...I just am. I cant "fix " that. I was reading a book today (just for fun) and i decided i wanted to highlight a few points in it because i relate to those points and my teacher asked me what i had been working on when i put the book away. I felt puzzled, because i didnt feel as though i was doing any work so i look at her like "Uuuuuh, what?" and said it was nothing. So then it took like 4 min. to convince her it wasnt an assignment. Not because she thinks i was stupid though, apparently highlighting in a book is college level ...erm, study habits i guess you could say.... Mayeb it more bothers me that im diffrent. I dont know. 

Ha. HBO and Cinemax are pretty up there with the nudity....Lol.

Ive heard alot of guys say that... I hope i never become like that, i dont want my husband to ever feel like the only way he can get a blowjob is to go out and buy me a diamond braclet. Maybe shes so stressed that shes never in the mood because you guys are kinda strapped for cash. I mean she could just have some problems shes not letting you in on but that could be one cause. Hmmm, well like you said yoru slowly getting over wanting it all the time so the bright side of this would be.....in maybe 10 years it wont be so bad.  ( I tried... I really did.) I hope everything else is going ok for you...

To me, its a very hard thing to supress sexual feelings. I can distance myself from that person, or ignore that thing that i like, (or need, depends on just how much i want it) but when i think of it again or hear that persons name im...its like theres no stopping me. I either have to wait till ive dealt with it long enough so that its not a big deal or do it, and be done with it.

Your right, you did give her a reason. I can honestly say i wouldnt trust you 100% either. Its hard enough beliving your man is faithful but when you feel like you have competition/ are just not good enough....it makes everything 200 times worse. It really doesnt matter how long youve been good because that one bad time counts....because it really happened. And the interest in other women counts...because it wasnt her, it was (insert name here) that made you want to hear more. I suppose after so many years of marriage and sex there isnt a ton of things you can say to make your partner interested in you as if you were someone new. Maybe if you had a new fetish or something you would like to try it would work. But it still stands that it was enough for it to be someone else...that hurts. I wonder if it changes anything for her because you were seperated....

was wonderin about u!

~*_Taylor!_*~

how old are you

[TIroxOUTinMBurg2013]

Yeah I don`t know whats up with the man not giving it up,it sure gives one a low selfesteem problem,I have to stay away from people so I don`t get tempted,it has been 9months now and yes iam climbing the walls.All he thinks about is making money topay our bills.It makes me sad cause we used to have somuch between us,now we kinda have nothing.All he does is eat,play on computer,sleep,work.Your wife is blessed to have a man like u.Have a great wk.end

i think its beautiful how you expressed the love for your wife.& how you wont cheat on her. tells what kind of man you are .  .Your not mental..just over sexual& theres nothing wrong w. that .

Look @ my situation..my gosh , If I can have it like i used to mike(many times turing night , week, different positions..OMG..& I cant even get his 'fingers ' to work)), id take it any day .  Does your wife have a stressful job? were you her 1st (and only ), just wundering.

ps.. I thought you guys were going away(kid free) for a wknd ?   didnt read about that .

`me

glad to hear ya been lucky lately though... "go you!".

You know, at 35 I have finally discovered how much more fulfilling, and amazing sex is when you are deeply, maddeningly, and desperately in love with someone. My love is 38..and has an incredible sex drive . My body feels incredibly blessed and grateful when we get to spend our time together . Since what we do and feel is so different than what we have ever felt, we have given it a new name.... Lo-Fu-Se

I am happy for you, to have been luckier these past few nights with the love of your life. I hope your luck continues...

Have a Great Night..

aww thanx a lot! appreciated!

~*_Taylor!_*~

well, have the fun w. friends, and then make sure you cut the night short,  so you both can have what you want..need.

 the hurricame.. so nothing then ?? Well, now you'll hear on the news how much it costs to shutdown everything  and the $$ everyone (businesses ) lost , cuz of the mis-ead info..lol.

 have a great weeknd.

question.. I know your situation w. wife, but  did you ever try to add other fun stuff to it ? ya know..lotions, massage oils.. games?..maybe that'll get her going more?..idk.. eitherway ..have fun.

happy dayz..

`me

wow really?! thanx im 14 1/2 && julie is 15 [[in 12 days]] can we add u 2 my fave lists?

~*_Taylor!_*~
<3333 JuLIe anNe <3333

Thank you for writing that in my diary. You don't know how much it meant.  Your words inspire me and helps me to be more practical about everything.  Your words were VERY empowering.....I really, really needed to hear that.

Thank You

Love,

What a sweet, sweet comment...thank you very much! I have always wanted to write a book...but would probably have to write of something different than what it in my diary -Otherwise it'd probably shock to many people I know. I guess that's why I spill my words on these pages. Because I truly cannot contain them.

Once again thanks...
Hope your day is an exciting one.

well julie said she wasnt dressed up...? lol how old r u?

~*_Taylor!_*~

MuCh LuV 'LiShA

<3333 JuLIe anN <3333

[MohawkCheerlder2013]

Whats up Hawaiian! I just was brozing through and i notice yours. One you are from Hawaii and 2 about the Hurrican and how I can relate to what you were talking about.

Back when I was going to Kailua Intermediate we had the Hurrican warning during school time. The sirens were going off all over the Island and we panic and of course my family weren't able to pick me up. So all of us kids were jumping on the city bus heading to Waimanalo and it was freaky. Finally got home we rushed up all the up the Pali highway and stayed there until it was over. Boy I was so happy that nothing happened. So I can relate to what your talking about. But Hawaiian I am honestly have to say I'm happy that you all didnt have one. I have alot of family back home where you are at.

Aloha

Gracefullhands!!

Lol. No, i dont. & thank you very much.

Ok, let's DO make that happen   I am on my way over **grabs keys and heads out door, maybe a flight if you do live in Hawaii** 

 I have spoken about the "open marriage" and was shot down...he said NO .  But as the other commentor stated, I do own toys, which are nice...but not anywhere near as nice as the real thing.  But I get her drift, I just happen to have a very strong libido.  Have you any pictures posted in your diary?

thanks.....

<3 michelle

Hi,

Yes I can be imaginative and what I would do to be in the place of the woman in that dream ;)  I think that I have sex maybe 2 times a year.

I CAME ON HERE TO COMMENT ON THE MORTGAGE , AND THEN SEEN YOUR ENRTY, I NEVER GOT A CHANCE TO WRITE OF MORTGAGE.

THE WAY THE OHIO LAW IS.. AS I WROTE..BUT I WILL HAVE TO GET A LAWYER TO VEIW EVERYTHING..  EVEN THOUGH MY NAME IS NOT ON TITLE/DEED.. AS LONG AS WE ARE MARRIED, AND MY NAME IS ON CERTAIN PAPERS SAYING WE ARE MARRIED ( THATS WHAT I SIHNED TO). HE CAN NOT SELL IT. EVEN IF WE DIVORCE,,HE CAN NOT JUST GIVE THE BANK 50% AND BE DONE W. THE MESS. IT NEEDS TO BE PAID OFF, AND BOTH OF US SIGN TO IT..

I DIDNT WRITE THIS YESTERDAY , BUT I REMEMBER NOT SIGNING IT CORRECTLY, LIKE MY REG SIGNATURE.SO IF HE TRIES ANY FUNNY STUFF.. MAYBE I CAN JUST SAY , THATS NOT MY SIGNATURE..BUT THERE WERE WITNESSES..

I HAVE TO GET OFF THIS PC.. SEE YA.

`ME

(PS..I CANT SEE HER REJECTING YOU TONIGHT IF YOU MAKE A PASS AT HER , FOR ROUND 2.. IF IT WAS THAT GOOD, SHE NEEDS TO REMEMBER  GO GET IT AGAIN ..LOL)

OK.SO MAKE ME JEALOUS..LOL.

 IF YOU WANT TO ENJOY THAT SO MUCH, WHY MAKE IT LAST LESS,dont!!!!! AND LESS INTEREST, AND  AS MUCH AS YOU WANT TO CUM INSIDE HER..WHY NOT JUST GET A VASECTOMY?yOUR NOT HAVING PLANS OF LEAVING ARE YOU?.aND YOU WANT TO HAVE AS MUCH FUN, WHENEVER ... I SENSE CONDOMS ARE NOT YOUR THING, AND WHERE ARE THEY FOR THOSE THAT USE THEM , WHEN NEEDED..LOL..BUT MAYBE  A VASECTOMY WILL WORK.

DO YOU THINK THATS WHY SHE BACKS OFF OF SEX W, YOU ALLOT?MAYBE AFRAID TO GET PREGNANT.JUST ASKING.MAYBE THAT WILL WORK FOR BOTH OF YOU.  A VASECTOMY CAN BE REVERSED , RIGHT,..BUT NOT TUBES TIDE.. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT ..

HOWS YOUR BACK ?..LOL

GTG ,HEAD TO DR,..

`ME

havent done it since that 1 & only time.but I know my smaller one has dissapeared from my draw.I asked him  ' if he got jealous, and threw it out, or 'broke it ".No was his answer. very weird. Im sure he is lying.. but whatever .

  maybe  if you ask a different way , and let her know it'll turn you on, maybe there will be a spark?

[dissapointedwife]

to each there own... but does she care to join you  when your in bed.ya know ,. watch each other.  see if she'll go for that .

 If she wakes up,,wait if you ' wake her up ', I dont think she was slepping that hard..lol.

Oh and to answer your questions...I stay with him (at this time ) for my three beautiful babies -And I met my sweetest love at work...I appreciate your comment! And hope that you have a great day...with many more like this one

Sounds fantastic! And familiar . And oh what a pleasurable way for things to be . But damn it makes me miss my (lover) Cld